As we near Thanksgiving, I am giving thanks for all of our kids who have chosen to go abroad to share God’s love with others. This thankfulness bubbles up from my utter gratefulness to God–I am amazed at His provision for us as believers; He allows us to do His work in His power even though we often take the credit. Let’s rejoice together that God is allowing us, and our kids, to “make cookies” with him. May this post help you understand and rejoice in the role God has given us in His Kingdom.
Tag Archives: Parents
The TCK Surprise
The children of Goers are ofter referred to as TCKs. They don’t completely fit in their stateside culture, nor do they fit in their home (overseas) culture. They exist in a third reality that is made up of both cultures combined. That is why we refer to these kids as Third Culture Kids. Ann Bowman has third culture grandkids and has seen the ways that their experiences abroad and on furlough have shaped them to be unique in so many ways. Read this new post (and listen to the podcast!) as Ann talks about ways that we all can minister to these very special kiddos.
What Does it Feel Like to Be the Mother of a Missionary on Mother’s Day?
Hey missionary mama, some of you may be wondering, “What does it feel like to be the mother of a missionary on Mother’s Day?” And I think the best way I can describe it is bittersweet. Bitter because my missionary is in a different place, a different time zone, a different culture than I inhabit, and this all makes me feel out of touch with him. But sweet, because the baby that God allowed me to steward, that baby that grew and flew and became an amazing adult, is now serving that same God as a missionary in a faraway land. Could I ask for a better Mother’s Day gift? I think not.
But sometimes this peculiar bittersweet feeling weights heavy on my mama’s heart…can you relate?
Departures Are Messy
Ann Bowman knows about departures. With two daughters serving globally, Ann is an expert at saying goodbye. This excerpt is from her new book, “I Never Signed Up For This”, and describes the ache of surrendering those most precious to you. Listen to her extended story on the most recent Parents of Goers Podcast
Tree Farm Fail
Are you bemoaning the fact that your Goer is far away this Christmas?
When I focus on my sometimes-disappointing circumstances, my life feels lacking. But when I choose the same attitudes Paul encouraged in the Philippians (4:8), when I think on whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, and whatever is admirable, I see how incredible it is that Jesus became a baby so he could become our Savior–the same Savior our Goer kids are sharing with people who don’t know him. I can praise God for Christmas and use it as a time to learn to think more like HIm.
A Letter to My Missionary Grandsons
I have grandparenting on my mind. As a grandma with five precious grands and three more on the way, I understand how crushing it is to have some of those beautiful children too far away to touch. When you are a grandma (or grandpa) to missionary kids, your heart constantly reminds you of the loss of physical closeness. But reading Oma’s story will remind you that your love for them can remain constant even a world away.
Confessions of a “Fix-It Father”
Many of you have expressed interest in resources for fathers. Here’s an article from a self-proclaimed “Fix-It Father” who has learned to yield his protective fatherly instincts to God’s sovereignty. Mark wisely reminds us that we are just caretakers of these children. They really belong to God.
Mothers, Fathers, and Missions: A Lesson From Jim Elliot
Parents must resist the urge to hinder their children in the work of missions under the guise of parental protection. This is a very difficult act of surrender and a peculiar sorrow which has been endured by parents through the ages. Read this fascinating letter from the late Jim Elliot to his parents.
Goer Gifts for Christmas
Sometimes you just want to give your Goer a gift for a special occasion. But when your child lives overseas, actual “sending” is often unpredictable or unreliable. Here are some ideas for last minute gifts you can still “send” your Goer for Christmas.
Predictably Unpredictable Visas
The whole visa process is confusing to me and other parents, I assume. At least it was confusing to Connie, who sent me this question via the Parents of Goers website.
As I get these questions, I will share them with you all since we are all in this boat (airplane?) together. I will respond with my personal experiences, but I would love for you all to chime in with yours in the comments so we can all learn from one another. Hang in there Missionary Mamas and Dads!
Furlough: friend or foe?
The word “Furlough” makes most parents of Goers giddy. But this anticipated home visit, although wonderful, may be more difficult than expected.
Read the blog today as I answer a few questions from a reader about furlough.
New Podcast Episode! Advice for Parents and Grandparents
Are you a parent or grandparent grappling with the idea of your child or grandchild pursuing a missionary calling? Do you find yourself filled with questions and concerns about how to support them effectively? In this episode of The Missions Podcast, our host Scott Dunford engages in a thought-provoking conversation with Tori Haverkamp, founder of Parents of Goers Ministries and author of the new book Missionary Mama’s Survival Guide.
The Missionary Mama’s Survival Guide Free Webinar
Join me and the Upstream Collective Crew for a free webinar about my new book!
Become a Sending Parent
“When I consider the idea of one day releasing one or more of my four daughters into the hostilities of global missions, I’m reminded it’s an offering worthy of my God—the God who first sent his Son, Jesus Christ. The pain I’ll bear in watching my child’s form disappear into the airport, then seeing her endure the daily death of a missionary, will only serve to make me more like the sending God who lives in me.”
New Podcast Episode! Why Does My Goer Raise Support?
Parents of goers often misunderstand support raising. In this episode, we discuss the practical and theological reasons for this necessary task. We also look at how Mission Mobilization Agencies, like Reliant, come alongside our kids and help them to thrive overseas. Listen to Why Does My Goer Raise Support? Also see our blog post The ShortContinue reading “New Podcast Episode! Why Does My Goer Raise Support?”
In Case of Emergency
With family so far away, Goers can feel helpless when hard things happen at home. And they can feel isolated as they navigate big changes abroad. Both parents and Goers will sacrifice as a result of this missional life. Abigail Follows gives a seasoned perspective on the cost and beauty of the Missionary’s task.
Creative Connection at Christmas . . . or Anytime!
The holidays can be especially hard if you are a long-distance grandparent. Since you can’t spend Christmas morning with your faraway grands, try some of these ideas to bridge the miles during traditional family gathering times (or anytime!)
Focused Questions for Fruitful Convos
Sometimes those longed-for conversations seem awkward or slow because we don’t ask our Goers the right questions. Rather than asking open-ended broad questions, try some of these specific ones to get the words to flow and to bless both the Goer and the Stayer.
Follow the Cairns
Cairns are way markers that help hikers find their path. On the Goer parent journey, everyone benefits when they discover the cairns along the way. Read an excerpt from my forthcoming book, “Missionary Mama’s Survival Guide.”
Untying the Knot
When our kids are under our roof, we feel we can control their safety. When they fly across the ocean, we forfeit that security. We may not like untying the knot, but if we keep our kids tied to us, they will never develop the spiritual “muscles” required for their role.
Emotional Ataxia
Separation from our overseas kids can create a roller coaster of emotions. How do we handle the challenges of being excited for what they are doing, but dealing with the strong emotions we feel about them being away from us? Hear from Tori H. on the journey God has taken her in walking through the God-given emotions associated with part of her family heading overseas.
COVID, Furlough and Lessons in Grace
For missionary parents, COVID-19 has provided some unique joys of having their children and sometimes grandchildren around. But it also has presented some unique challenges. Check out this blog for navigating the challenges of COVID-19 and furlough.
Map Quest
Sending kids overseas is hard enough for a Christ follower. For parents that do not follow Jesus, the idea of their child being a missionary might seem like a waste of their life, or maybe too radical. In this article we’ll talk the why of global missions to help you as a parent know their intentions and how to be a loving support to them as you wrestle with their choice.
No Rescue Required
in the midst of suffering, our instinctual reaction as parents is to rescue our kids from suffering. What if hardship might be the best thing for them? What if God’s Kingdom purposes in the world and in their lives is actually advanced through struggle. How do we deal with this as parents and help our kids choose the right path for their eternal joy?
6 Ways to Love Your Overseas Kids This Valentines Day
All of our kids–missionaries or not–need to be reminded that we love them. It is important we tell them that we value who they are and what they are doing; assumed devotion isn’t enough.
Parents of Goers 