The Dream
Moving overseas is the culmination of a lot of things. It brings with it a lot of excitement. For most people moving overseas is the result of a lot of hard work and determination. Many of us have dreamed about living overseas for years before we’re actually able to make the move. Arriving in our new culture is fun. We’re eager to learn to love this new place, it’s people, and food!
The Reality
Moving overseas also comes with difficulties. Once we’re on the field a lot of unknown expectations pop up. The newness of exploring the city and culture wears off and we just feel tired. We find that we miss our families and familiar communities more than we expected and we might feel lonely even in a city with millions of people.
In my own life I see this so clearly. My husband Luke and I planned to move overseas from day one of our relationship. We knew our intentions and set our eyes on the prize of being on the other side of the world. It was such a fun and unifying time for the two of us. We got to share with our friends our excitement and vision for what was ahead and we got to do that together. We boarded the plane with smiling faces and eager hearts.
After moving I came to the quick realization that my spiritual strength training was now my own. When I lived in the states there were a lot of opportunities and structures in place to receive God’s Word and to spend time with other believers. Living overseas, my church was now 5 people with whom my husband had a close relationship with but I knew relatively little about. I was thrown into language classes that I seemed to comprehend little of and left most days feeling overwhelmed.
In each of those moments the thing I wanted to do the most was hide. I wanted to ignore the ways that I was failing and press ahead. I didn’t want to admit that my classes were too hard or that reading the Bible felt dry and dutiful. I didn’t want to be seen as the one who couldn’t handle the stress of life overseas or who fell apart at minor inconveniences. Each of these things added a weight to my shoulders that was never supposed to land there. Once I finally started to let my community into my struggles I felt the burden lighten. With each word of grace from my teammates I felt the release of pressure to live up to any idea of what I was supposed to be or do or say.
The Importance of Member Care
This isn’t only my story, but our team and in our organization, we’ve seen time and time again that moving overseas is hard. Even with all the joy and excitement of going, there are difficulties that meet us as we land. These tensions and tough feelings are why member care exists on our teams. We understand the realities of what we’re inviting people into as they move overseas, and we want to provide a safe space to process through these feelings and emotions.
Some of the things I do to advocate for emotional health on our team are: providing resources when working through difficult emotions, facilitating team activities (like practicing how to have hard conversations with one another or how to check assumptions we make on a daily basis), meeting with teammates who want extra opportunities to process particular struggles or difficulties. We really strive to create a community where talking about the hard things in our life is normal and expected of everyone on the team.
For parents, I hope you know that we put a lot of care into your children. We care that they’re working diligently and we care that they’re thriving in their lives. We take the time to check in with them, make sure they feel secure in the community and allow them to be vulnerable with us. We care that they enjoy the life they’re creating and we hope this comforts you. I feel so lucky to get to advocate for your family members and it is my great joy to care for them.
Parents of Goers 